Coachable

As a coach, I will be the first to tell you, I was not coachable. This was something I had to learn how to be. Not being coachable severely hinders reaching your potential and makes you look kinda like a dick. Whenever someone told me I was doing well, it went to my head. I would get super cocky. When someone told me I did something not so great, I would get butt-hurt. I would go so far as talking back, throwing fits, talking under my breath, etc. Point is, I thought I was too good. I thought I didn’t need anyone to help me get to where I want to be. I didn’t realize all the lessons I could have learned from coaches in the moment. It wasn’t until much later that I realized being closed off wasted a lot of time and effort. I sit here regretting that I let perfectly coachable moments go to waste. I want to help you become coachable so you can learn the essentials now and not have to look back and have regrets like I do.

Being coachable is very much a skill, one that takes practice to develop. It can also be applied to all aspects of life, not just sport. This skill can almost certainly be interchanged with being a good learner. The single most important trait to develop when becoming coachable is listening. “Too many people think with their mouth instead of listening in order to absorb new ideas and possibilities. They argue instead of asking questions.” Well said, Robert Kiyaski. Learning how to properly listen to what someone is saying and not making judgment based on your own preconceived notion is very important. We often see people seek out a coach and then try to tell the coach what’s up without having ever studied the field at hand. Do not be this person. If you don’t know, don’t think you know. Trust what the professional has to say.

Once you are listening, you can’t be on the defense. You have to be able to take constructive criticism. Think about it this way, people have no problem hearing all the things they’re doing well, “Nice job,” or “That looks great,” and “You’re so smart,” yadda yadda. Our society is conditioned to look for this type of approval. As soon as people are criticized to work on something, our defensive side kicks in. The immediate reaction is to counter this critique, shut down, and start making excuses. Look, it’s alright. Every single person on this entire planet has something to work on. No one is perfect. I know the immediate reaction to criticism can be to get defensive because it feels like an attack on you. In reality, this feedback on what to fix is far more beneficial to becoming better than all the good stuff you already do well.

Good listeners that refuse to get butt-hurt over hearing constructive criticism have one last step towards being fully coachable. The final step is to take the critical advice and apply it. Working on whatever it is that you need to improve on will help lead you to progress. Any coach anywhere loves seeing their student make progress, especially if it’s something the student worked on after they were given the feedback.

If you have a good coach, they really do want to see you succeed. If you don’t currently have a coach for anything, do not be scared or embarrassed by what they may have to say. It will all make you better. I think everyone should have a coach of some sort in their lives. Follow these rules to help make both your and their experience a great one. 

If at First You Don't Succeed 1.0

          It's a celebration b****. Man, do I love success, but I also love failure. Am I sick? Nah. I believe they go hand in hand. If you succeeded at something, it’s most likely because you learned how to do so through failure or multiple failures. In no way is this going to be an article suggesting we all should get participatory ribbons. Instead, this one will maybe make you look at both success and failure a little differently.

            How many of us know a person who was “the shit” in high school and that was their peak? We can pinpoint them, whether they were the star athlete, the most attractive person around, or incredibly good at school.  Shoot, I mean, I fit all three😜. Well, hopefully by now they are far removed from celebrating those feats and are on to new ones. The issue is, most people peak and fear failure. They think if they try something new, and suck at it, then they are a failure. This hinders the possibility of them finding success in future endeavors. I advise you to not fall into this cycle, instead think of things in a short-term way. Having a short term memory for both success and failure is the way to go in order to constantly improve and grow.

            Often times, we linger for wayyy too long on either a success or a failure. If you take a look at the best athletes or the best business people, they have very short term memory on both success and failure. If they get dunked on one play they might make a big play on the opposite end just a few seconds later, or if they didn't land a client, they move on and work to land the next.

            I believe you should celebrate any success you may have, whether it's as minuscule as remembering to floss your teeth today or landing your dream job. If you celebrate for too long or act like you have arrived at your destination, you start to get complacent, comfortable and will probably stunt your growth. The same goes for failures. Recognize them, learn from them, then get on with your life. Dwelling on the past usually just makes us sick. We beat ourselves up saying things like What if I had done… If only I knew this back then…yadda, yadda. I even find myself guilty of that saying, “What if I knew back in high school what I know now about training?” Well, guess what? I didn’t. All we can do is live, learn, and be better. This only happens if we are willing to take the good with the bad, the successes with the failures. 

            I love failing. It probably is a sickness but I'm honestly happy when I fail at something. You can learn sooo much from failing. My first attempt at writing this article was a failure, so what did I do? Tried again in a slightly different manner. My biggest most recent failure was failing to complete the Beast Tamer Challenge. I had some success while attempting it and some failure as well. It was a great learning experience, as well as a humbling one.

            Not allowing yourself to get too high or too low in accomplishments and failures will keep you constantly motivated to do better and to be better. Don't limit what you want to accomplish based on the fear of possibly failing. You'll never reach your true potential constantly playing it safe. Whatever the end result may be, get out there and try some things you've never done, have confidence, and learn from it. 

Strength in Numbers

Strength in numbers is the current team motto of the Golden State Warriors. Strength in numbers is often the main ingredient to success in a lot of different realms. Let’s look at the Seattle Seahawks for an example. This team’s fans have their own role each game and have come to be known as the 12th man. Football is played with 11 players on the field so the fans, as a big rowdy group, are the 12th player that the opponent has to face. The idea behind all of this is that if you want success, you need to have a good circle of people around you. Surround yourself with people who make you better. I have plucked many people out of my circle. Not because they were bad people, but because we were simply on different wavelengths.

It’s important to be a lone beast in many different facets of our lives. However, in order to tackle a bigger target, we beasts need to come together and work as a pack, such as wolves and lions do. Making sure you have people around you that want to see you succeed and want to help you get there is very important. Many times when people are trying to obtain one of their fitness goals, one of their limiting factors is their closest circle. Your circle may talk shit, asking, “Why do you even want to work hard?”  or they just get mad at you because you want to work out instead of going to the bar. This can be very frustrating. It makes you question your want and will, especially when it’s coming from spouses, family, friends etc.

In a country where obesity rates are on the steady incline, expect people to not understand the reasons of your actions at first, or ever. You do not need to cut these people out of your life. I am definitely not suggesting that. Instead, try to find a community you can join that is aiming for your same goals. That way you have time where you are surrounded by people who understand or who you can communicate with that have done what you desire. This community feeling is the number one thing I think CrossFit got right and can be attributed to most of the success they have found. However, I am not suggesting CrossFit. Instead, find a different community outlet. Communities can be in the form of a gym, a personal trainer, an online group, etc.

You are not alone in this. A community will help curb that lonely feeling and will make consistency a lot easier. You will then have people that you may start to look forward to seeing or who hold you accountable. Habits are made this way. You will find yourself doing things you don't want to do at times because you don't want to let your “team” down. If you want to be strong, doing things that you know are good for you during times when you really don't feel like doing shit at all is what will get you there.

Strength in numbers is beyond beneficial no matter what you want to accomplish, not only relating to fitness but also in life. You are only as strong as the weakest link. Cliché but so true. You can grow into a better human being exponentially faster once you surround yourself with the right people. It's ok to ask for help. Don't be scurred, needing help with something does not make you weak, it makes you smart. Dumb people think they know everything. Smart people know what they know and ask when they don't. Be smaht.

Puttin in Work

Doing work is not the same as putting in work. Many times you may hear people say they deserve to win. They deserve that raise, promotion, or office space, etc. Look, I get it, especially if you are from my generation, we allegedly think we are owed shit. This is getting into a whole other topic, but I personally think all generations have that mindset. I've been working 30 years. I deserve to retire. Blah blah blah. Guess what? No one cares. You can definitely be deserving of something, but most likely, you must put in the work to earn it.

Doing work = showing up to work, doing what is asked of you. If you are just doing work, this may result in no pep in your step, not doing anything more than the minimum, complaining about the work you have. I once was a football player who thought doing work was enough and I never realized the difference until I stopped playing. I realized the importance of putting in work. Putting in work = showing up to work and doing more than what is asked of you. This results in having a positive impact on those around you and clearly demonstrating your value. You may even be happier for it. Those that verbalize they deserve something assume that what they are doing is good enough to have earned what they want. Issue is, they are often doing work and not realizing the people getting what’s owed to them are putting in work. 

Look, complaining is annoying. Complaining may even get you what you want at times. However, no one has EVERcomplained their way to the top. Soooo stop complaining! Don't be afraid to put in work. Saying, “They don't pay me to do this,”will not get you paid to do that in the future. Quoting Ralph Emerson, “Your actions speak so loudly, I cannot hear what you are saying.” This is one of my favorite quotes that also ties perfectly into my other favorite, “Be so good they can't ignore you.” Both of these statements are very strong messages. If your actions are that of a complacent, self-deserving, just-doing-enough-to-get-by individual, no one is going to care what you are saying because they can see what you are doing. If you are doing all that you can and are truly trying to make an impact,you will be noticed. You need to have such an acute focus to detail, you can't help but add value. 

Remember, it may not be instant. Instant gratification is a killer, so don't stop putting in work just because you feel you haven't been noticed yet. It may take time and consistent effort to see the payoff. Just trust the process. If you want to be a beast in the weight room, acquire the body you desire, or get a promotion at work, you must put in work consistently to get there. Though some of us may have been given a ton of shit growing up just for being us, that is not how the real world works. You have to put in work if you want to accomplish your dreams.

3 Keys to Reaching Your Goals

Effort and consistency are two things you can control. You, and only you, can control how much effort you put into something. The same goes for how you control how consistent you are with something. Those two controls will help you become whatever you want to be. However, thetwo mental powers of effort and consistency alone are not all that it takes. The third variable, which you don’t always have control over, is the plan.  The plan is a major contributor to reaching your goals. A lot of people put the right amount of effort in and are super consistent, but they don’t reach their goal. The truth is, they are putting that focus and effort into the wrong area. They’re following the wrong plan. No matter how much effort and consistency you put into something, if it is not geared towards accomplishing your goals, it wont get you there. You will never see someone trying to create a better jump shot by working on their golf swing. The comparison may be ridiculous, but it’s all about execution of the proper plan when it comes to reaching your goals.

Although we will never see someone trying to create a better jump shot by working on their golf swing, we often see people setting certain goals and doing the wrong things to attain them. For example, by wanting a bigger deadlift you may see someone max out every time they weight train. You can’t build strength by always testing your max. It is quite counterproductive.  Another example would be when someone wants to lose weight, so they hit hours upon hours of cardio. This plan is just spinning circles. You can get a lot better at running a mile or two without seeing any physical changes. Not to say it won’t get you any results, it just isn’t the best option.

It’s obviously not done on purpose that people wastetime and effort towards a plan that won’t help them attain their goals. They may just not know any better. Asking questions and seeking information from people who have attained your goals or know how to get there is a must whenever you want to accomplish something. Unless you are Elon Musk, who wants to do a bunch of stuff no one has ever done before, then there is someone out there who has done what you want to do. Find them, contact them, ask them questions, and trust what they say. 

Remember, a good plan is the last and final piece to being able to reach your stars. You still need to put effort into the plan and consistently follow it. A plan is only as good as it’s adherence. You can’t just come up with an awesome plan and think some shit is going to happen. You need to adhere to it with consistency and effort to make it work.